こんにちは、スタッフいずみです。

今日はLesson 1 の２回目の添削が返ってきました。
早いです！24時間以内にGarry先生が戻してくれました。
一度直されたところを修正したので「完璧」だと思ったのですが、結果はやっぱり修正されていました・・・((+_+))
Garry先生のコメントには、前置詞と語順がオカシイと指摘。確かに…

私が受講しているのは　「中級インテンシブ・プログラム」の全１２回です。

From: David Kosugi
Date: August 12, 20XX
To: info@carpartxpress.co.jp
Cc:
Subject:[Durong Corporation]introduction of our service
To whom it may concern,

Hello, my name is David Kosugi and I am a regional sales manager for Durong Corporation.

Today, I’d like to introduce our company to you.
We have been supplying bilingual workers for more than 30 years to companies which who have an urgent need to do business with other companies.  The way you had it worded you were saying other companies had been doing business for 30 years.  This way I am saying you had been in business for 30 years.　（私の当初の言い方”We have been supplying bilingual workers to companies which have urgent needs to do business with other companies for more than 30 years.”だと、「other companiesが３０年やっている、」という意味になる。そうではなく、私たちがother companies 相手に３０年やってきているのだから、for more than 30 years の場所を変更しなければいけません。仰る通りです、意味が違ってくるのに、文章が変だと思わなかったです。反省。）
As a leading company in this temp staff industry in Asia, we won the Junior Chamber of Commerce Best Company Award in 2008 and also won the TempStaff Industry Award for Community Services in 2009.
Although those awards have given us a great reputation in this field, our pricing is also competitive with other companies. We are confident with about our high-quality products in all aspects; therefore, we （主語ダブり）are happy to consult with you about your future successful business.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact me anytime.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards,

David Kosugi
Sales Manager,

Lesson 2では満点を目指します！